


Placeholder

by reddeadmort



Category: Red Dead Redemption (Video Games)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Eventual Fluff, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Romantic Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-22
Updated: 2019-04-22
Packaged: 2020-01-24 02:24:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18562033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reddeadmort/pseuds/reddeadmort
Summary: Another tumblr request!Arthur and the reader have been together for a while, but Arthur gets another letter from Mary and goes to see her. The reader overhears their conversation, and it wasn't what she was hoping....





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“Mornin’ darlin.”

You were already half awake due to the sunlight streaming in through the window, but that familiar voice pulled you gently the rest of the way.

“Morning Arthur. Is that for me?” You nodded towards the cup of coffee in his hand.

“Of course.” Arthur smiled as he passed it to you. “I know there ain’t much chance of you movin’ before midday if you don’t have one.”

You gave a little chuckle as you took the cup. Arthur did know you well; though, to be fair, the horrendous suffocating heat here in Shady Belle didn’t allow you to sleep for particularly long anyway.

“I’m afraid I’m going to be away most of the day, Hosea’s asked me to ride up to Emerald ranch, apparently the fence up there might have somethin’ for us.” You could tell Arthur didn’t seem particularly happy about this; you assumed it was because he’d never been a big fan of the man.

“That’s okay Arthur” You smiled reassuringly at him. “I’ve got plenty of things to do helping out around here to keep me busy.”

Arthur stood up before leaning down to give you a kiss. You tried to pull him down onto the bed on top of you but he was ready, bracing himself against the wall.

“Nice try darlin’, but I best get goin'” he said, winking at you. You gave a mocked huff of annoyance before smiling and letting him go.

\------

Later that day, as you were riding into Saint-Denis, you were thinking about that morning and what you planned on cheering Arthur up with later that night. You did feel a bit bad about lying to him; you two had been together for a few years now and you very rarely kept anything from him. But what you had said was half true; you had spent most of that day helping the girls and Pearson out around camp. You just left out the bit where you were planning on going to rob a store.

Ever since the mess in Rhodes Arthur had been getting more protective, making a fuss anytime you tried to go out on a job or chase down a lead. You kind of understood; you hadn’t witnessed Sean’s death, but you knew it had hit Arthur hard. Still, everyone had to contribute to the gang, and stealing was what you were good at. Thankfully, Trelawney had done some sniffing around in Saint-Denis for you and come up with a few potential marks.

You hitched your horse before heading into the area where the store was, glancing in as you casually walked past before taking up position across the square. You leant against the wall, pulled your hat down over your face and started to pretend to read the newspaper. It was pretty near closing, so you were sure you wouldn’t have to wait too long before the shop owner left to go to the bank. You always felt a little bit bad about robbing stores; store owners weren’t exactly the wealthiest people, and other folk depended on the shop being around for their livelihoods too. But after the way Trelawney had told you this man had treated a lovely young black couple that tried to go into his shop, you had no regrets. You were going to make sure he knew exactly why you’d chosen him too, and hopefully ensure he never behaved that way again.

You’d been in position for around half an hour when you heard a familiar deep voice coming up the alleyway next to you. Arthur hadn’t said he was going to be in Saint-Denis, but then again neither had you; perhaps the lead from the Emerald Ranch fence had led him here.  

“Here, I got you your brooch back.”

You were about to lean around the corner, call out to him when you heard that he wasn’t alone.

“I won’t ask…” It was a woman’s voice… but not one of the camp girls. Maybe Arthur had found yet another unfortunate stranger to help? You smiled at the thought; your big, gruff, outlaw, always insisting he was a bad man, yet always willing to offer help to anyone that needed it.

“Probably best not Mary.” _Mary._ You froze, not daring to move. _So that’s why he hadn’t mentioned Saint-Denis this morning._ Because he knew how’d angry you be that once again, Mary was able to use him on a whim. You wished he didn’t go running whenever she called, but you’d tried to be understanding. They had history, and she didn’t have the easiest life what with her dad and being a widow. You trusted Arthur, but the idea of him seeing her without telling you made you nervous. As far as you were aware, he’d always been open about visiting her before…..

“Hey…. What are you doing now, right this moment?” Mary said.

“Why’d ya ask?”

“Well, I was wondering if you wanted to do something. Head to the theatre perhaps?”

You prayed Arthur said no. It was one thing, helping her out when her father or brother had got her or themselves into a mess, but seeing her for pleasure…. as much as you hated yourself for it, the thought of them enjoying time together made your chest hurt.

“Oh, Mary… I don’t think that’s a very good idea.”

“Sure, I understand. You’re still walking me to the trolley though?”

“Of course.”

 _Arthur, always the gentleman._ They stepped out from the alleyway and you tipped your head down as far as you could, hiding under your hat, praying they went in the opposite direction. Luckily, they did, and after a brief moment you set off after them, all thoughts of shop robbery gone from your mind. You weren’t really sure why you were following them; you didn’t like Mary, but you trusted Arthur; so why was there this little niggle insisting you listen in on them…..

They walked in silence for a while, as you followed a little distance behind. It wasn’t long before they reached the tram stop. You edged around the building towards them and were so concentrating on straining your ears to hear anything they said that you didn’t notice the man walk in front of you out of the post office with the basket.

You knocked into the poor man, sending the contents flying. To your horror, Arthur started to turn to look at the commotion; your hat was pulled down low enough that he wouldn’t immediately be able to see your face, but surely he would recognise your clothes. Before he could do so, Mary grabbed at his arm, stopping him. Close enough to hear, you bent down and helped the man re-load his basket, apologising as quietly as possible.

“My life wasn’t supposed to….” Mary paused. “Is it too late for us Arthur?”

Those words made your blood run cold. _How dare she._ Though, you couldn’t be certain she even knew about you; Arthur had said he’d kept you out of his letters back to her, apparently in case they were intercepted by the Pinkertons, That was the reason he’d given you anyway; now you were starting to wonder if he had an ulterior motive. You stepped back into a doorway after you finished placating the man you’d knocked into. 

“Mary…. I told ya, I ain’t a free man. I’m wanted now.” Your fury turned to shock at Arthur’s words.

_Is that it? Is that the only reason Arthur had stayed with you? Because the Pinkertons were after him, the gang, all of you? While he was ‘wanted’ he was happy to shack up with you, but if he wasn’t… there was obviously a much better option available._

Mary sighed, and as you glanced up appeared to be wiping away a tear. “Run away, Arthur. Run away right now and don’t look back.” She said as she grabbed his hands, pulling him towards her.

“I want to…more than anything, I want to. But, like I said, I’ve got some people I need to take care of. Once they’re free, then I’m free, then I can disappear.”

You could hear your racing heartbeat thundering in your ears. You wanted to scream, to step out from the doorway, to run at the pair of them… but you couldn’t. The overwhelming urge to be sick washed over you and you lurched backwards, into the small station/post office building and out the other side. You just made it through the doors before hurling all over the pavement. As you finished, you began to cry, ignoring the tutting from the nearby men and women. Without looking back you started running off towards the saloon where you’d hitched your horse.

\----

_“Arthur…. I’ve really missed you, you know.” Mary grasped his hands in hers, pulling him towards her._

_“I’ve missed you for a long time. But it’s done now.” Arthur pulled his hands away and patted Mary on the shoulder._

_“Okay.” She looked down at the floor before once again gazing up into his face. “I wish somehow it weren’t”._

_“Be well Mary” Arthur said before starting to walk away._

_“I’ll write you” she called out after him._

_Arthur stopped, but didn’t turn around._

_“Sure” he replied before continuing to walk off._

\----

You didn’t ride straight back to camp; you couldn’t face the idea of making mundane small talk with the other gang members with these thoughts racing through your head. Instead, you headed towards the edge of the river, where you found a small area not overlooked by the road in which you could be alone.

You didn’t bother hitching your horse, instead letting it graze on the grass along the edge of the little stony beach. You walked down to the beach, picking up a few pebbles before starting to hurl them one by one into the water.

After all you done together, Arthur still wanted to run away with _her?_ You felt so stupid for thinking, hoping, that Arthur would be any different from the other men that had come before him. You were obviously not interesting enough, not refined enough…. not _womanly_ enough. You were a convenient placeholder; a body to keep his bed warm, to provide _entertainment_ until he could go off and have a real life with a _proper_ woman.

As you stepped forward to throw the last pebble into the water you accidentally kicked a rock, causing you to swear and hop on one foot. The pain was the last straw, and you started to cry, collapsing on the ground in a heap.

You thought about all those times you and Arthur had spoken about a life away from the gang; maybe a little ranch, somewhere quiet, potentially even a kid or two if it wasn’t too late. You thought Arthur had been describing a life with you; but no, he’d just been talking about the life he wanted to have with Mary when he eventually managed to convince her to join him.

You gave a little start when you heard the little _huff_ in your ear and the warm breath on the back of your neck. You’d been so wrapped up in your own thoughts you hadn’t noticed your horse trot up behind you. He nuzzled your hair as you reached up to stroke his face, leaning your head against his. He always seemed to know when you were upset; either that or he wanted a treat.

You wiped away your tears and stood up, patting your horse on the neck.

“Come on then boy, let’s go back. I’ve got a feeling I’m going to be spending more time with you now.”

\---

The sun had pretty much set by the time you rode into Shady Belle. You would have stayed away longer, except you had no food with you and you weren’t in the mood to be ambushed by some idiotic Lemoyne Raiders.

You hitched your horse, thankful to see that Arthur was deep in conversation with Hosea in the little gazebo thing; you should be able to grab some stew without him seeing. You took your bedroll from your horse, hoping that Sadie wouldn’t ask too many questions if you requested that you sleep in her tent tonight. You’d much rather sleep in the house, but the idea of sleeping in the same room as Arthur made you feel slightly sick.

You grabbed a bowl of stew and hurried off to one of the shacks behind the main house. You were still an absolute mess of emotions. You were angry at Arthur, but also cross at yourself; you were stupid to think a relationship with an outlaw would ever work. The signs were all there; all those times he ran off whenever Mary called, never mentioning you in any letters. It was pretty much your fault you got hurt, you thought; you should never have let yourself believe the relationship was more than a bit of company for the pair of you.

“You alright darlin’?” Arthur’s voice made you leap up from where you were sitting, almost dropping your (thankfully empty) bowl and spoon. “I saw you come back into camp then pretty much run off over here. Somethin’ happened?”

“I’m…. I’m fine.” You hated the words as soon as they came out of your mouth. You absolutely weren’t fine, and you couldn’t avoid speaking to Arthur forever, but you were so full of emotions you didn’t even know where to begin. You really didn’t want to deal with this now.  

 “Woman, I don’t believe ya. We’ve been over this before – I ain’t no mind reader. You’re goin’ to have to tell me what you’re thinkin’.” Arthur rested his hand on your shoulder and smiled down at you, his deep blue-green eyes making you melt, despite your overwhelming feelings of anger and betrayal.

“I don’t…..I can’t….. Oh for god’s sake.” You sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose. “Arthur, I was in Saint-Denis earlier. I know I said I wasn’t going anywhere today, but that was cause I was going to rob a shop and I know you don’t like me doin’ it on my own. But I went anyway.” The words flooded out of you as quickly as you could make them leave your mouth; this wasn’t going to be pleasant, you wanted it over and done with.

“Yeh that don’t surprise me” Arthur chuckled. He obviously just thought you felt bad for not telling him you were on a job. His laughter cut through you like a knife, bringing your rage to the surface once again.

“This ain’t funny Arthur. I saw you. I saw who you were with.”

Arthur’s expression changed very suddenly, becoming cold.

“Y/N, don’t start.”

 _How dare he._ “It ain’t me that started anything!” You snapped back.

“I know ya don’t like Mary but….”

“No, I don’t Arthur” you cut him off. “I hate how she uses you, and her goddamn hold on ya. But right now, it ain’t her I’m mad at.”

“I’m sorry darlin’, I know I should have said something about going to see her… I don’t know why I didn’t.”

How did he manage to make it so hard to stay angry with him? You almost forgive him right then and there until those words made an unwelcome intrusion back into your mind. ‘ _I want to’._ You were about to unleash on him, rip him a new one, but as you looked up into his concerned face you almost burst into tears.

Arthur saw the change in your expression and moved his hand towards your face to try and comfort you.

“Come on sweetheart, talk to me.”

“I don’t want to talk about it Arthur. Just leave me the hell alone.” You sighed and pushed past him, starting to walk away; maybe you’d be able to deal with this more easily with a good night’s sleep.

“Hey, darlin’, I promise ya, you’re my girl now. I feel nothin’ more than……. _obligation_ to her.”

 _How dare he try and wriggle out of this, pretend he didn’t say that he wanted to be with her?!_ You tried to stay calm, to continue to walk away, but your surging rage got the better of you and you snapped back round to face him.

“Don’t lie to me Arthur, I heard you! I heard you tell her how if you weren’t a wanted man you’d run away with her. Is that all I am to you? The best option for the life you’ve got?” As you spoke, you stepped closer, practically spitting the words into Arthur’s face.

“Darlin’ that ain’t what I said.” Arthur’s face was still impassive; you couldn’t believe he was trying to wriggle out of this, to make you doubt yourself. Your anger was growing even further; even if he didn’t care about you, he could at least have the decency to tell you the truth.

“I ain’t stupid Arthur, I heard it with my own ears!”

Arthur was getting frustrated; your emotions were obviously too much of an inconvenience to him.

“Look, I know what I said and….” You didn’t let him finish his sentence before cutting him off. You had enough self-respect that you weren’t going to stand here and have him tell you that you were mistaken, it was your fault, you were being a silly over-reacting woman. It was the same thing you’d been told time and time again by men before, and did not want to hear it from him.

“I don’t want to hear another word Arthur! Now leave me alone before I kick you so hard you’ll be wearing your ass for a hat!”

As you stormed off Arthur threw his arms into the air in frustration, shouting after you.

“Well I guess that I don’t know what I know no more!”

\----

_Arthur was pissed off, but he wasn’t too sure if he was more annoyed with himself or you. Why the hell wouldn’t you let him explain? And why were you so angry with him? He knew that he definitely didn’t say he wanted to run away **with** Mary. He’d spent half the morning telling Mary all about you and was not happy when she’d tried to start sweet talking him again. _

_He knew he should have told you another letter from Mary had arrived, but he’d promised you that the next time Mary appeared he’d take you with him, and he’d needed to meet up with her without you. Arthur patted the little box in his pocket; he hadn’t wanted to ask Mary for the ring back, but it was worth a lot of money._

_He was so glad when he’d arrived at the little jeweller's shop to discover that the ring he’d seen a few weeks ago was still there; he was even happier when the jeweller agreed to trade for the old one. Given how easily the man agreed, Arthur suspected that he’d probably not done well out the deal, but he hadn’t cared._

_He’d had it all planned out; where he was going to take you, what he was going to say. But now…. well what the hell was he supposed to do? How could he explain if you wouldn’t even talk to him? And how the hell could he explain without telling you why he had been there? This wasn’t something he wanted to ask you while you were angry._

_Arthur sighed and kicked at one of the posts of the shack. Maybe Hosea would know what to do._

_\--------_

Arthur had, rather sensibly, left you alone that evening. You’d heard a few whispers when you walked off to Sadie’s tent to sleep, but gave them little thought; the camp was used to Abigail and John’s arguing, another couple having a row wasn’t that newsworthy. You’d struggled to get to sleep, the heat and humidity seeming even worse outside the house; the fact that your brain wouldn’t shut up didn’t really help either.

When you woke up and headed over to the cooking fire, you groaned when you saw Arthur there; it looked like he was waiting for you. You decided to forego your morning cup of coffee and took off, quickly, to the edge of camp; maybe if it looked like you had somewhere to be he would leave you alone.

Unfortunately, you had no such luck. You were near the water when Arthur caught up with you, cup of coffee in hand.

“Thought you might like your coffee, sweetheart. After, do ya think we could talk?”

You span round, surprised at the speed at which the rage overcame you, and knocked the cup out of Arthur’s hand and onto the ground.  

“Arthur, I told ya, I don’t want to hear another word! I don’t want to be lied to.” You were so angry you practically spat the words at him.

“Darlin’, please, I’m begging ya!” Arthur looked like he was about to burst into tears. The sight quelled your rage slightly; you couldn’t stand to see him upset, even if he had hurt you.

“Arthur, what is there to talk about? Mary still wants you, and as soon as you can you will run away with her, disappear and have a normal life.” Arthur tried to interrupt but you held your hand up, shushing him. “I don’t blame you; we ain’t had a good time of it late, and Mary hasn’t been…. _tarnished_ …. by the things we do. I’m just disappointed that you dragged me along for these last couple of years, pretending you loved me, using me. I know I was an easy mark, what with my history with men and all, but it was cruel Arthur. I didn’t think you had it in you.”

Arthur look devastated at your words and took a moment to reply. “Sweetheart…. I’m sorry if what I said came across like that, but I promise ya, it wasn’t what I meant.” He was holding his hands up towards you, almost begging.

“Go on then, I’ll indulge you” you sighed. “What _did_ you mean?”

Arthur was so glad you’d given him permission to try and explain he rattled out the next few sentences at an alarming rate. “I’d spent most of the morning telling Mary about ya. I spoke about _our_ – mine and yours – plans, how as soon as we know the rest of ‘em are okay we will go off and have that little shack, maybe a few animals, maybe more… I was surprised when she asked about her and me, I got a little flustered.”

_Surprised? He was surprised that the woman who he’d pined after all those years, that could get him to perform like a monkey on a whim, wanted him back? You always thought he wasn’t stupid, but here he was, trying to prove you wrong._

“You said you were a wanted man, Arthur. That’s all that’s keeping you from her, that’s all that’s ever kept you apart.”

 “I am… _.. wanted….._ sweetheart. By you. And it ain’t her I want to run away with.”

 _Shit. That was smooth. Though maybe….maybe he’s not lying? He didn’t actually say that he wanted to leave with Mary, or say that it wasn’t too late…. maybe you are over-reacting? Reading more into it because of the lies that have been spun to you in the past?_ You shook your head, an attempt to dislodge the rising self doubt. _No. Not again. You wouldn’t let yourself be manipulated, tricked._

“Nice try Arthur, nice try. How long you been figuring that excuse out?”

“It ain’t a…..” Arthur sighed. “I should never have gone to see her darlin, I’m sorry. I should have told ya she was sniffin’ about again.”

“Well why did you?” You snapped at him, what good were feeble apologies now. “Why did you creep off behind my back to see her?”

“I can’t tell you darlin’….. not yet anyway.” _Oh for god’s sake. Really? You were kind enough to give him an opportunity to explain, like he’d begged for, and he was flaking out?_

“I’ve had enough. If you can’t tell me the whole truth now why the hell should I wait around for a time you deem fit? I’ve apparently been waiting and wasting the last few years so I ain’t doing that anymore.” You tried to move past Arthur back towards the camp but he moved in front of you.

“Please, sweetheart, just trust me, I don’t want to tell ya like this. I don’t think I could take it if I asked ya and it didn’t turn out like I’m hopin’.”

“What the hell are you on about?” You looked up into his face; he almost seemed panicky.

“I….Mary had….. I needed…..” Arthur stammered, leaving far too long between the words; he was obviously trying to think up another excuse, another lie.

“Oh for the love of god Arthur if it’s that damn difficult don’t bother.” You pushed past him and started to walk away.

“Ring. Mary still had the ring I gave her. I wanted….needed… it back.” You stopped in your tracks but didn’t turn around. “It is…it was…. worth quite a bit. I needed to sell it.” You spun around, angry again.

“Really, that’s what you couldn’t god damn tell me? That you needed money? We all need bloody money!”

“No darlin’, I needed money for a particular reason. For you.”

“I don’t need your money Arthur, I’m perfectly capable of looking after myself.”

“I know sweetheart, I know…. that’s why I’ve been so afraid to ask ya. I would have done it months ago, but I was afraid of what would happen if you didn’t like the idea.”

_What the ever loving fuck is this man on about? And why the fuck is he starting to kneel down?_

“Darlin’…” Arthur stammered, reaching for his pocket. “Will ya….will you…. be my wife?”

For that one moment, the entire world seemed to completely freeze. If it weren’t the most ridiculous thing, you would swear that birds actually froze in mid-air. You were in complete shock, staring down at Arthur, who had a pleading expression on his face. Your whole body was in turmoil; on one hand, your brain was still whizzing around on a rollercoaster of emotion, flitting between sadness, anger and confusion. On the other hand, your heart was screaming at you, making your chest physically hurt; the man you loved, adored, was standing in front of you, saying that he wanted to be with you for the rest of your life.

Arthur started to panic as the seconds ticked by without even a movement from you.

“I’m sorry darlin’, I shouldn’t have asked, not like this, I’ve ruined everything” he stuttered, trying to push the ring back in his pocket, almost dropping it in the process.

“ _Yes”._ Your voice was barely louder than a whisper, and you heard your answer at the same time Arthur did.

“Darlin’, did ya..”

“YES!” This time was much louder, and you launched yourself at him, wrapping your arms around his neck, burying your face into his chest. Arthur threw his arms around you, squeezing you tight and slightly lifting you off the ground.

“God dammit darlin’ you had me worried there” he whispered into your ear as he set you back on the ground.

You pulled away slightly before hitting him on the chest, gently, but hard enough to release the last of the anger ebbing away.

“Well you shouldn’t have acted like such a damn fool!”

“Yeh, I know darlin’. You’ll have to get used to it though, ya stuck with me now” he grinned.

“We’ll be fools together sweetheart, like always.” Arthur smiled and kissed you, sliding his fingers into your hair, pulling you in by the back of your head. You felt all the stress of the last day melt away as your lips softly caressed his. Eventually, you broke apart again. 

“I’m still pissed at you though Arthur” you said, looking up at him sternly.

“I know sweetheart, I know. I’ll er… I’ll make it up to you later” he winked, before smiling and pulling you back in for another hug.

It was in that moment, with you nestled in his chest, listening to his heartbeat, him stroking your hair, that it finally hit you. _You were going to be Arthur Morgan’s wife._ Today had turned out to be a much better day than you expected.


End file.
